Save me

Monday, November 19, 2007

I am so not looking forward to the barrage of campaign ads that will soon be appearing on t.v. and radio. I get so sick of the lies and mud that get flung about during these ads and along the entire campaign trail.

However, this morning I heard about an ad put out by Arkansas' own Mike Huckabee. With that being said I hereby bring you my 1st WTF?! moment of the day:

Huckabee's first ad

I have to say it is the goofiest campaign ad I ever remember seeing. On one hand, it is so bizarre it makes me question Huckabee's sanity. On the other hand, I'm sure it will generate a lot of traffic to his website, which is the ad's goal.

Anyone else think it's weird?
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On an unrelated note, my hometown, Memphis, ranked #8 on the (controverted) list of most dangerous cities in America. You can find the list here. Arkansas only represented with Little Rock, which was #13.
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On yet another unrelated note, Mondays suck.

Books

Friday, November 16, 2007

Maria has been talking about books all week. Reading her posts has made me think about my relationship with books.

I've always been a big reader. I remember when I was 9 our school got what they called the Accelerated Reader program. Basically for every book you read you took a test on the computer and your score determined how many points you received.

Back then I was always reading books that were deemed "too old" for me. I read Gone With the Windwhen I was 10. It took me an entire weekend, but I read all 1048 pages of it.

I'm also a very, very fast reader. I read so many book during that time period and got so many points that at the end of the year I was the "Accelerated Reader of the Year" for our school. I was in 4th grade. Our school was Kindergarten through 8th grade. And I kicked all their asses.

My point is I have always, always loved books. As I got older my relationship with reading began going through ups and downs.

When I was in high school and early college I didn't read all that much. I was too wrapped up in teen angst mixed together with a huge dose of lesbian drama. I began consuming books with frightening speed again in my early twenties. For the most part that is still how I read. It has gotten to the point that our bookcase broke from the weight of all the books on it. I had to limit myself to buying books unless they were by my favorite authors.

I just went through a phase where I was reading roughly 10 books a week. Considering I was only reading a few hours a day this is quite a bit of a reading for one week.

I was reading anything from Twilight (The Twilight Saga, Book 1)to Sharp Objects: A Novel. (Which let me say if you haven't read the Twilight Saga you should! It is a sheet sucker)

I have now reached a point where I am no longer reading. I've been struggling to find interesting books. I've been looking up books I enjoy at amazon to see what books people buy in addition to the ones I like. Finding books this way is a very, very slow process and is very hit and miss.

It's only been a week or two since I've read a book but I am now going through withdrawals. I need help!

Through my amazon searches I've gathered a list of about 30 books I want to read and while this will hold me over for a while I need many more.

I will forever be in debt to anyone* who can give me recommendations.

*This does not include you, Rhonda. You are still banned from giving me recommendations.

Funny

Now I know that most people don't get my sense of humor. I've learned to live with it.

But, I have to know; am I the only one who thinks this song is hilarious? It's kind of a deer hunting rap.

The radio stations break out this song every year around hunting season. I laugh every time I hear it.

Are you insane?!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Am I the only one bothered by the Duggar family? One of our news stations did another story on them last week. I respect people's rights to do what they wish but come on! 17 kids?

They say they decided not to use birth control after a miscarriage early in their marriage that they attribute to the prior use of birth control pills. The question I scream every time I see them on television (which is often as we live in the same state) is WHAT ABOUT CONDOMS?! I understand they don't want to use the pill but why does that stop him from covering his shit? I can almost guarantee if he was the one squeezing children out right and left he would find a way to stop it from happening again and again.

I was an only child and I did long for a sibling growing up (always an older brother, go figure) so maybe I can understand the pull of wanting more than one child but I have to say this--I would fucking kill Rhonda if she even joked about me giving birth that many times.

Yet, every time I see this woman on television she looks happy as a clam. Do you think they gave her a lobotomy after the 6th kid or so?

Ain't she grand?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

E-mail like this is reason number 1,468,139 why I love her:

Okay so here's the plan, you and I are going to run away from home and start a farm where we raise chinchillas. We will be chinchilla barons and corner the market on chinchilla fur (or meat or whatever the hell you get from them). We'll live a quiet life (not the stockpiling weapons kind of life) and only go to town for groceries once a month at a tiny store where they will refer to us as "them dykes". There will be no phones but we will have internet access because I can't exist without it. Yes, I'm addicted. No, I'm not proud of it. Most importantly I will never have to deal with another idiot on the phone again.

Love Always,

Rhonda

p.s. What's a chinchilla?

Monday

Monday, November 12, 2007

Mondays suck as a general rule. My ass has been dragging all day and it wasn't even a liquor filled weekend!

Insert some of the most boring, mind-numbing pleadings that have to be drafted and you get me in a quivering mass hiding under my desk.

If you need me I'll be curled in the fetal position behind my CPU.

High School

Friday, November 09, 2007

I really didn't care for high school much. I wasn't into all the bullshit that everyone else seemed to be into. I didn't want to be Miss Popularity. I didn't like guys. I didn't play sports or participate in any extracurricular activities other than choir. I had acquaintances in just about every group with the exception of that one group who were so "cool" that they could only be friends with people in their own little group, and who for shits and giggles randomly made people feel like shit.

I didn't really hang out with anyone from school. I preferred people who lived in the less than middle-class parts of Memphis. I liked sitting at the coffee shop or playing pool at the pool hall with people 3, 4, hell even 10+ years older.

I didn't care about football games or anything remotely school related. I went to the Homecoming game only to sing the National Anthem and then run like hell for the parking lot as soon as my part was done.

I went to my junior and senior proms only because I was harassed into going. I only enjoyed my junior prom because I was less than sober. I wasn't as fortunate for my senior prom so I stayed long enough to take pictures for proof of attendance.

I know my high school days could have been a hell of a lot worse. I was outed my senior year by my "best friend." I was harassed a bit but only by a small group of people. It was devastating enough that I switched schools in November. I ended up coming back 3 months later and honestly for the most part people acted like nothing had ever happened. I was still harassed a bit, but it wasn't anything I couldn't ignore.

I didn't keep in touch with anyone from high school. Which is sad because I had known most of those people since 2nd grade. It's only recently through a forgotten myspace account that I've been in touch with anyone I knew back then.

Suddenly I'm getting e-mails about our 10 year reunion next year.

Part of me is kinda excited about seeing some of those people again.

The other part of me wants to puke at the thought of being around those people.

Hell, just yesterday I got another e-mail about the reunion. This one in the form of a questionnaire. It asks if you are planning to attend. It asks if the charge for attending will play a factor in whether or not you attend. It asks you to check which activities you are interested in.

They are planning for next Fall:

• A Friday night Homecoming get-together in conjunction with a tailgate party

• A Saturday afternoon barbecue

• A Saturday evening cocktail reception

I want to send a questionnaire back in the same mass e-mail:

• Are the girls still going to act like shallow bitches?

• Are the guys still going to do nothing but drink and brag about sex?

• Are the "cool" ones still going to ignore everyone not in their incestuous little group?

• Are you going to freak the fuck out when I show up with my wife?

I know I'll probably end up going to all 3 events. I know I'll probably reconnect with one or two really great people. I also know I'll end up feeling shut out by that certain group just like I did in high school.

So why am I even contemplating it? Why not just send back their little questionnaire with a big FUCK OFF written across it? (This is especially tempting as the organizers of the reunion are the people in that particular group)

I guess part of me wonders what I missed by not giving a shit about football games, dances and the usual high school rites of passage.