Showing posts with label WTF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WTF. Show all posts

It's a Wonderful Life

Monday, December 22, 2008

I have a wonderful wife that knows the best way to cheer me up when I'm in a bad mood. Last Friday I was in a horrendous mood (damn you Seasonal Affective Disorder!!!!) and I was seriously hating the world. So my wonderful, beautiful wife did one of the most perfect things ever. She sent me a picture of her boobs! What can make a horrid day better? Boobies!! Yeah, I'm a twelve year old boy sometimes and I just don't want to help it.

To add to the kind, giving person she is, she decided to show me an alternative to her boobies. Just to let me know how much worse off I could have it. I could have to look at these all day.



So not only do I have a wonderful wife, I have a wonderful wife who has awesome coworkers who will expose all just to make me happy. But, I will say that the phone call Friday night to sing me a serenade on his man boobies was a bit much.

Holy shit

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Can someone please explain to me how this is a good idea? I cannot fathom how someone got the balls to bring this resolution up for a vote let alone the fact that the damn school board voted unanimously to allow teachers to carry GUNS TO SCHOOL!

Wow is pretty much all I can say. Because we all know that no teacher would ever screw up and leave their gun unattended or hell even if they're carrying it on them at all times aren't they just giving some pissed off kid easy access to a gun? How hard would it be for some high school kid to overpower an adult? Not that hard.

The fact that the parents didn't object to this amazes me.

I'm pretty much speechless.

Asshats

Friday, March 07, 2008

Dear local meteorologists,

Where the fuck is the 5-12" of snow I was supposed to wake up to?

You're all dead to me.

Hugs & kisses,

Jennifer

Spam?

Friday, February 22, 2008

Should I be offended that Yahoo thinks that e-mails to myself are spam? Do they think I'm trying to bilk myself out of all my hard earned money?

Maybe I should have someone review e-mails before I send them. Maybe my typed word sounds Nigerian.

I'm really beginning to develop a complex over it.

Fostering love

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

This story makes me ill.

Arkansas' foster care system is seriously broken. There is a desperate need for good (major emphasis on the good) foster parents. There are way too many kids in facilities and group homes because placement can't be found in the foster homes we have now.

Kids are being shipped all over the state to foster homes or facilities in far away counties because it's very, very hard to find placement for kids especially in the larger counties.

And yet this group wants to deny unmarried couples living together (read: gays & lesbians) the right to foster/adopt children.

Forget that there is a major need.

Forget what's in the best interest of the children.

Forget that a lot of us are more than capable of providing care for these children.

According to this group you should ignore all these things and focus solely on "a 'homosexual agenda' in Arkansas."

The article states, "there is an agenda at work in other states that's being driven by the homosexual community, an agenda that uses children in foster care or waiting to be adopted. He said his group doesn't believe children should ever be used by a particular group to advance an agenda."

First, what the fuck is a homosexual agenda?

Seriously. I'm not being purposely obtuse; I just don't fucking understand what a homosexual agenda is.

Second, isn't this group doing exactly what it is accusing this homosexual agenda of?

Aren't they just throwing around a bunch of vague accusations against some alleged group in hopes that the people of Arkansas will vote to deny gays and lesbians yet another right in this state?

By doing this aren't they using the children in foster care to further their own goals?

The news this morning said that this initiative would ban over half the people in Arkansas from fostering/adopting.

Wow.

What a great way to ensure there is a permanent foster home shortage.

What a great way to keep this system utterly and hopelessly broken.

?

Friday, January 18, 2008

Confidential to those who are landing here via the google search string lesbian sleep:

Yes, quite well. Thanks for asking.

Oh baby!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

So the whole baby issue keeps coming to the forefront of my mind. I know it has a lot to do with this feeling of running out of time that I've suddenly developed. R's pretty sure she doesn't want kids. I'm smack dab in between of no thanks I'll pass and I don't know.

I like kids; I really do. But, the whole changing my life completely and totally thing? Freaks me the fuck out.

When we first got Ryley I thought we were going to either kill one another or her throughout the first six months. She was up and down all night. We had to constantly play, play, play to wear her out in hopes that she would sleep through the night. We won't even get into the sharp puppy teeth. I still have nightmares about those.

It was all Ryley all the time from the time we woke up until we went to sleep. And then it got better. She started sleeping through the night. She started losing those razor teeth. She could go outside by herself. Now? I think she's the best dog in the whole wide world. Yes, she gets on my nerves occasionally, but those hellacious months were worth the dog we have now. She's not even 3 yet so I can still remember all the bad times. And yet? While I love that dog so much? I think she is the first and last dog we will own. Even though I love her so much it hurts? I don't want to go through that 6 months of hell ever again.

And a baby? Is so much worse than a puppy. Like a gazillion times worse. Yet, every time I see a baby my ovaries freak the fuck out. They start screaming. Or if I start thinking about the whole "oh if I don't have children who will take care of me when I'm 90?" or "if I don't have kids--when I die that's it--no part of me will live on through someone else." Pretty stupid reasons for wanting a kid, no?

However, those aren't the main reasons. Part of me wants to experience the joys (and yes the horrors) of parenthood such as being pregnant, giving birth, seeing our child for the first time, the first step, etc.

Yet, when I see a screaming kid in the store? My ovaries die a little. They also lose a bit of life when I think about being pregnant, giving birth, no sleep, dirty diapers, the first time they get in trouble and the idea of bringing a child into this fucked up world.

And honestly? I like life the way it is. We get to sleep through the night, we don't have to worry about childcare or if we're getting enough couple time. Not to mention the fact that kids are hella expensive. As is the conception part.

So for now it's a moot point anyway. We aren't in a place where we could afford to try to conceive or pay for the kid.

But my ovaries? They aren't listening.

Save me

Monday, November 19, 2007

I am so not looking forward to the barrage of campaign ads that will soon be appearing on t.v. and radio. I get so sick of the lies and mud that get flung about during these ads and along the entire campaign trail.

However, this morning I heard about an ad put out by Arkansas' own Mike Huckabee. With that being said I hereby bring you my 1st WTF?! moment of the day:

Huckabee's first ad


I have to say it is the goofiest campaign ad I ever remember seeing. On one hand, it is so bizarre it makes me question Huckabee's sanity. On the other hand, I'm sure it will generate a lot of traffic to his website, which is the ad's goal.

Anyone else think it's weird?
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On an unrelated note, my hometown, Memphis, ranked #8 on the (controverted) list of most dangerous cities in America. You can find the list here. Arkansas only represented with Little Rock, which was #13.
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On yet another unrelated note, Mondays suck.