Thanksgiving Recap

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

After the whole car debacle of last week (which included a flat tire on the Pilot) I was ready to say screw it to Thanksgiving and just barricade myself in the house. Fortunately I snapped out of it and we went to R's sister's for Thanksgiving. It was a great meal and a good time. The highlights include us trying to talk her niece into busting her ass to make valedictorian so her graduation speech could include the phrase, "titties and beer." Yeah, we're classy like that.

Friday we dropped the monster, aka Grace off at the vet to get spayed. We then drove to Memphis to have Thanksgiving with my family. Our time there pretty much meant finding ways to keep Ryley out of the pond. If you didn't have your eye on her every second you could pretty much bet she was running full out for the pond.

We drove home early Saturday so we could pick Grace up before the vet closed for the weekend. And let me just say, cats on morphine are fucking hilarious. She stayed fascinated with the ceiling the entire weekend. And ya know plastic bags.


Now if I could get some of what she's on maybe this cold wouldn't seem so bad.....

stfu

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

$800.00 for a distributor and a coil? Its times like this I wish I was more mechanically inclined. Or you know at least understood what the fuck a distributor is.

Grace said all this talk of car trouble is bringing her down.

It could have been worse....

You know it's going to be a shitty day when your car dies two blocks from work. And while your car had enough momentum left to get into a nearby parking lot it kaput in the MIDDLE of the fucking parking lot.

So there I was, all 5'0 of me pushing my fucking car into a parking space. Let me say pushing it was much easier than I thought it would be, but running to jump in the car and put on the brake was much harder. The car rolls back at you a lot fucking faster than I ever realized. I came pretty close to getting hit in the face with my open driver's side door, but luckily I was able to jump in without being clothes lined by the door.

I guess I should be thankful I was wearing my lovely Doc Martins this morning rather than the high heeled boots I originally planned to wear. Nothing seems to tempt fate more than me running in high heels. It would have been an exact replay of that time we got drunk and played Chinese fire drill at a major intersection in my hometown. I of course fell while running around the front of the car. Did I mention I was in a dress too? Luckily there were no cops around to arrest me for public indecency when I flashed all those lovely people.

So yeah I guess it could have been worse. Or so I'll keep telling myself until I hear what the estimate is.

Me strange?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

I had a weird revelation yesterday. I found out in a discussion with a friend that I'm strange. Yeah, it was news to me too.

He and I were talking about the possibility of him using Criminal Justice as one of his focuses for his undergrad degree. I got my BA in Criminal Justice from the same school he is attending so I was tying to talk the program up. He was kinda worried because he is so fed up with law right now that he doesn't want to take any classes remotely dealing with law.

I told him I only took once law intensive class in undergrad; most of the rest of them were just really cool classes. I took Victimology, Crime & Science, Serial Crimes, Death Penalty, and one of my favorites, Death Investigation. When I mentioned Death Investigation he looked at me kinda weird which you know would be a clue for most people. I seem to be oblivious to those things. I told him that my final paper in the class was on time of death. I had to detail all the ways in which time of death could be established, ya know livor mortis, rigor mortis, all that stuff. He told me I was very strange.

I told R about it last night and she agreed with him. I'm not sure if I should be offended or if I should worry they're right.....

EVIL

Friday, November 14, 2008

I left yesterday to go pick up a salad for lunch and when I returned I found this:



My coworker (formerly my friend, Chuck) is dead meat. All I have to say is it's on. I know his weaknesses and I'm not above exploiting them.

Anyone know where I can get the world's largest tarantula replica by Monday?

Grace aka Stinky

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

It occurred to me earlier that I haven't posted any pictures of Grace since we adopted out her brother and sister. Here she is in all her glory.


Grace is what I like to call "special" in many ways. First, there's the stench. Grace has this built in defense mechanism or what some people call gas. Whenever you startle her she emits this odor, which to put it mildly, is rank. Sometimes, her defense mechanism goes off on its own and she just sits around trying to kill the entire household.

You'd think that would be "special" enough, right? Not so much. We also refer to Grace as broken. This label stems from the fact that occasionally when Grace goes to clean herself she screams at her asshole. No, not me. Her own actual asshole. Yeah, it's bizarre. Yet, strangely enough she fits right into our household.

I'm not quite sure what that says about us.

Contrast

Friday, November 07, 2008

Wish me luck. I have a CT scan at 1:30 to try and diagnose this pain I've had in my side since about 3 weeks post gallbladder surgery. I'm worried that the test will take place in a closed tube. I'm claustrophobic and the idea of being in that enclosed tube had me up worrying off and on most of the night.

And to top off a bad night of sleep, I started drinking the contrast about 7:30 and let me say what in the fuck do they put in that shit? Ground up sawdust with a touch of ass? Wow. I can't have anything to drink until after the CT scan. Except for one more dose of the ass flavored, I mean vanilla flavored contrast.

So that gagging noise you hear round about 10:30 will be me trying to choke this shit down. And that cackling noise will probably be my coworker and bosses laughing their asses off at the faces I will make.

So again wish me luck and a nice dose of Valium if I end up in the closed tube.