Friday, November 16, 2007

Maria has been talking about books all week. Reading her posts has made me think about my relationship with books.

I've always been a big reader. I remember when I was 9 our school got what they called the Accelerated Reader program. Basically for every book you read you took a test on the computer and your score determined how many points you received.

Back then I was always reading books that were deemed "too old" for me. I read Gone With the Windwhen I was 10. It took me an entire weekend, but I read all 1048 pages of it.

I'm also a very, very fast reader. I read so many book during that time period and got so many points that at the end of the year I was the "Accelerated Reader of the Year" for our school. I was in 4th grade. Our school was Kindergarten through 8th grade. And I kicked all their asses.

My point is I have always, always loved books. As I got older my relationship with reading began going through ups and downs.

When I was in high school and early college I didn't read all that much. I was too wrapped up in teen angst mixed together with a huge dose of lesbian drama. I began consuming books with frightening speed again in my early twenties. For the most part that is still how I read. It has gotten to the point that our bookcase broke from the weight of all the books on it. I had to limit myself to buying books unless they were by my favorite authors.

I just went through a phase where I was reading roughly 10 books a week. Considering I was only reading a few hours a day this is quite a bit of a reading for one week.

I was reading anything from Twilight (The Twilight Saga, Book 1)to Sharp Objects: A Novel. (Which let me say if you haven't read the Twilight Saga you should! It is a sheet sucker)

I have now reached a point where I am no longer reading. I've been struggling to find interesting books. I've been looking up books I enjoy at amazon to see what books people buy in addition to the ones I like. Finding books this way is a very, very slow process and is very hit and miss.

It's only been a week or two since I've read a book but I am now going through withdrawals. I need help!

Through my amazon searches I've gathered a list of about 30 books I want to read and while this will hold me over for a while I need many more.

I will forever be in debt to anyone* who can give me recommendations.

*This does not include you, Rhonda. You are still banned from giving me recommendations.


Now I know that most people don't get my sense of humor. I've learned to live with it.

But, I have to know; am I the only one who thinks this song is hilarious? It's kind of a deer hunting rap.

The radio stations break out this song every year around hunting season. I laugh every time I hear it.

Are you insane?!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Am I the only one bothered by the Duggar family? One of our news stations did another story on them last week. I respect people's rights to do what they wish but come on! 17 kids?

They say they decided not to use birth control after a miscarriage early in their marriage that they attribute to the prior use of birth control pills. The question I scream every time I see them on television (which is often as we live in the same state) is WHAT ABOUT CONDOMS?! I understand they don't want to use the pill but why does that stop him from covering his shit? I can almost guarantee if he was the one squeezing children out right and left he would find a way to stop it from happening again and again.

I was an only child and I did long for a sibling growing up (always an older brother, go figure) so maybe I can understand the pull of wanting more than one child but I have to say this--I would fucking kill Rhonda if she even joked about me giving birth that many times.

Yet, every time I see this woman on television she looks happy as a clam. Do you think they gave her a lobotomy after the 6th kid or so?

Ain't she grand?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

E-mail like this is reason number 1,468,139 why I love her:

Okay so here's the plan, you and I are going to run away from home and start a farm where we raise chinchillas. We will be chinchilla barons and corner the market on chinchilla fur (or meat or whatever the hell you get from them). We'll live a quiet life (not the stockpiling weapons kind of life) and only go to town for groceries once a month at a tiny store where they will refer to us as "them dykes". There will be no phones but we will have internet access because I can't exist without it. Yes, I'm addicted. No, I'm not proud of it. Most importantly I will never have to deal with another idiot on the phone again.

Love Always,


p.s. What's a chinchilla?


Monday, November 12, 2007

Mondays suck as a general rule. My ass has been dragging all day and it wasn't even a liquor filled weekend!

Insert some of the most boring, mind-numbing pleadings that have to be drafted and you get me in a quivering mass hiding under my desk.

If you need me I'll be curled in the fetal position behind my CPU.