Our story

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

When R and I first met I was only a week past my 20th birthday. R, 28, had sworn off women any younger than 25. We met -wait for the cliché-online in 2000. My girlfriend and I had just split up two weeks earlier and I had just moved to a somewhat strange town an hour from my hometown with no friends nearby. So I was on AOL (this was 8 years ago--we've grown so much since then) and I just looked up any lesbians in Arkansas online at that moment. Lo and behold there she was. Her profile sounded interesting so I IMed her. We were both just out of long-term relationships and neither of us were looking for anything other than a friend.

We talked. A lot. Like every day. Multiple times a day. At just about any opportunity we could get. I thought she was the funniest person I had ever spoken to (still do) and she thought I was pretty hilarious as well. We eventually graduated to talking on the phone. Months passed. Feelings developed and grew. We decided to meet. Did I mention we lived 2 1/2 hours apart?

So Labor Day weekend 2000 R came for a visit. It pretty much solidified and intensified all the feelings we had developed for one another. She came down on Saturday and had planned to leave the next day. She stayed until Monday.

Things went really well until November. Then R got spooked. She was just out of an on again off again long-term relationship. I was 20. Things were going really, really well. So she ran.

And I said, "you'll be back." Wasn't I just a cocky little shit?

So she ran. And I did what any 20 year old would do. I partied. I went to Memphis and hung out with my ex, old friends, new friends. I partied my ass off. I usually rolled in around 7am. Slept all day and then started again round about 5pm. This went on for over a week.

Some of my new friends started staying the night at my apartment. Nothing ever happened. I wasn't interested in any of them. I only wanted R. But, she was off partying herself.

Did I mention we still talked? I had to make sure she knew I was living it up. A little petty, yes. But, I needed her to know I wasn't sitting at home moping.

Then comes the night that she found out that these new friends were staying the night at my place. Can we say eruption? R lost her shit. I advised her that since we weren't together she had no right to inquire as to who was or wasn't at my place.

Needless to say my prediction came true and we were back together within days.

Looking back I can't believe how silly and immature we were. I also can't believe how cocky I was. Because that is nothing like me. I never act that way. I guess drastic times call for drastic measures. And they paid off.

We did the long distance thing for a little over a year and a half. Then in 2002 we bought a house together a town over from where she had been living. And I left behind that horrid little town I had been living in.

And here we are now. Our 8th anniversary is coming up this year. And when I think of how we met, the split, the age difference and the long distance thing, I'm pretty amazed that we made it through with so little bumps. I think the odds were against us. I think if we had done the traditional U-Haul cliché we would have had a much harder time. But, we beat the odds and shocked quite a few friends. And ourselves.

And I couldn't be happier with us.