Grad school

Friday, December 21, 2007

I don't know why the thought of grad school terrifies me so. I'm in the process of getting my application in (after an 8 month delay). I don't know why I am dragging my feet.

I guess there could be many reasons for the terror and the procrastination.

-I'm worried that I will submit my application and they will turn me down.
-I'm worried I'm not smart enough.
-I'm worried because I've never taken a class in this subject.
-I'm worried about the thousands of dollars I am going to add to my already large student loan bill.
-I'm worried about not working full-time when it comes time for my internships (i.e. will we have enough money to pay the bills the 12 weeks I am unable to work at all or the other 9 months I am unable to work full-time)

UGH! I know I can't keep dragging my feet. My undergrad degree didn't really open any doors for me so I know I need to do something.

There's also the fact that my bosses really, really want me to go to law school. Which is funny because growing up I always, always wanted to be a lawyer. I was wearing Harvard Law t-shirts at 11.

It's scary enough deciding to go back and incur more debt and pretty much ensure I have no free time from the moment I start until graduation. But, then there's the idea that I'm scared I'm going to choose wrong.

If I go for my Masters I can get in and out in 2-3 years with a post certificate which will let me go for even more credentialing through the state. But, once I start my internships I will have to stop working full-time.

If I go for my JD it would take me four years--but I wouldn't have to stop working full-time and I would have the support of my employers.

Just from looking around it looks like there are way more opportunities for me to use the Masters than the JD as lawyers I know say the job market isn't what it used to be.

I've already taken the MAT and I won't be able to start grad school until next fall so I've thought about just taking the LSAT in the mean time but it's going to cost me over $350.00 just to take the test--that doesn't even cover any prep materials.

Damn this shit is scary. Growing up and being an adult sucks sometimes, ya know?

Random Bits

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I don't want to alarm anyone but I do believe hell has frozen over.

I put in a service call to our landlord over our thermostat (at work).

The technician showed up 20 minutes later and replaced it, no questions asked.

I almost fell over from the shock of it. Or it could have been from listening to someone on the telephone go on and on for over twenty minutes. Either way, I was lightheaded for a minute there.

I have found a name for my fear of grasshoppers! Acridophobia. Sounds official! (Well, as official as one can get by searching for grasshopper phobia via Google) Maybe now R will refrain from terrorizing me with the little bastards.

Yeah. I doubt it'll happen. But, I can always hope.


Monday, December 17, 2007

Well, my feelings of guilt over not being able to attend the wedding have subsided a bit.

Friday night I got a call from my brother. He was on leave and was currently on his way home to Oklahoma. He said they would be coming through Arkansas either Saturday or Sunday so we made plans to meet up when he came through.

I am so very happy at this turn of events. I was feeling so damn guilty for not going to the upcoming wedding and there I was being granted an opportunity to see the brother I had only met once before, eleven years ago.

I've always said that the only luck I have is bad luck, but it looks like I was proven wrong this weekend.

R & I met up with them Saturday night. It was really, really great seeing him. He's not the 10 year old boy that I last saw. He's now 21 year and getting married this Saturday. Wow. It freaks me out every time I think about it.

It was also great getting to meet my future sister-in-law. I also got to see my ex-step-mother again and C's half-sister who was 4 the one and only time I met her.

It was a great visit; albeit too short.

C will be passing through Arkansas once or twice more between now and February when he reports to Ft. Lewis, Washington. And then he'll be off to Kuwait or Baghdad. Which for now, I cannot talk about as it makes me cry.

So while I still won't see him get married, I did get to see him and meet his future bride and for that I'm thankful.