It's me again, Internet

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Yeah, I've been busy. That's a pretty standard excuse for not posting on your own blog. But, while things have been totally crazy (bought a house!) I just haven't been feeling this blog for a while now. Unfortunately, Facebook has sucked me in and the small amount of time I have for creativity has been channeled there. Not that I've really had any creativity to go around. Between the house, work and every day life I just haven't had much left to spare.

I may be back one day. Who knows? I will keep this place up as it has my handy blogroll that I use for my daily blog reading.

I'll still be reading your blogs and (hopefully) doing a better job of commenting.

Anything to say? Email can be sent to aotfl@sbcglobal.net or just leave a comment.

See you around.

The very definition of awesome

Friday, May 15, 2009

Things at work have been so hectic lately that I've felt crappy pretty much every moment that I'm not at home. Home has been my solitude through all this chaos. And I have only R to thank for that.

When my day is bad she will do whatever she can to make me feel better. Take Wednesday for example. I was having a totally shitty day. R tells me mid-afternoon that she's leaving work an hour early to run an errand. She won't give me any details. However, she does show up at my office about 20 minutes later with Starbucks for me. And just like that all the tension that was causing me to bubble over retreated. I was still stressed but that one great gesture knocked my anxiety level down somewhere near manageable.

Then today she tells me she is taking a day off. I'm getting ready for work and she stumbles into the living room still half asleep and proclaims that she is going to clean the house while she is off.

And the best part??? She starts cleaning then and there!!!!!! If I had been more awake or had an ounce of grace I would have swooned.

I plan on doing something incredibly nice for her as soon as I have the brain power to think it up.

So to sum it all up my definition of awesome=R.

You're killing me

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

You know it's true love when in answer to your ravings about an impossible person your partner states, "can you reasonably hide the body* until I get there?"

Its responses like those that make me realize how truly lucky I am. And how completely weird we are.
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Also on a completely unrelated note and an "L Word" spoiler in case you're like me and just started watching the last season. What the fuck is up with Shane? Also, I feel somewhat let down as I was hoping there would be less actual Jenny screen time. I'm still suffering through her character and I only have like 2 episodes to watch. Can't she die already?


* in case someone actually takes the joking between two obviously demented people seriously-there is no damn body although I guess with the tone of both entries in the post I could see why someone would worry.....

Congratulations Iowa!

Friday, April 03, 2009

I am so happy for all the gays and lesbians in Iowa today! Iowa says gay marriage ban unconstitutional!

I only wish the other states would sit up and take notice. I have come to the realization that Arkansas will only allow gay marriage if it's forced to by the federal government. Sad, but probably true. But, hopefully I'll be proven wrong.

Happy gay marriage, Iowa!

Oops

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

So in keeping with the McDonald's theme- hypothetically speaking how bad is it if you use your Health Savings Account to make a purchase at Mickey D's? I'm thinking I could argue mental health reasons. It was either I got McDonald's or my thin hold on sanity would finally snap.

It was truly an accident; accidentally grabbed the HSA debit card instead of the regular debit card.

I could either prepare my defense of said purchase or just put the same damn amount of money back in the HSA. And since the bank is completely and totally out of my way by at least 20 minutes I'm going to be lazy and just start preparing the Mickey D's defense.

The saddest thing is this "defense" will probably be used to amuse myself and R for hours. We're weird like that.

The pain

Monday, March 09, 2009

Just because I prefer to share my misery with the world. I heard this commercial right before I walked out the door this morning and now it's on a constant loop in my brain.



Enjoy!

MIA

Thursday, February 12, 2009

So much has been going on lately that I've been kinda MIA. Let's review the highlights of my last few weeks:

1. Found out best friend is moving to Arizona. Not in a few months but in 1 month. So we're all getting together as much as possible before the move.

2. Work, work, work, work, work.

3. I contracted some stomach virus that rendered me pretty useless for 5 days.

4. Try to play catch up for the 3 days I missed from work so of course more work, work, work on top of my usual work, work, work.

5. Taylor catches a "cold"

6. Taylor gets better. Leroy catches a "cold"

7. Leroy gets better. Grace catches a "cold"

8. work. rinse. repeat.

9. Grace is extremely sick and getting no better. Vet diagnoses her with a respiratory infection.

10. end up with a billion scratches from trying to put ointment in Grace's eyes and liquid antibiotics down her throat.

11. 3 days of antibiotics including an initial antibiotic shot AND steroid shot from vet and Grace is still very sick.

12. even more scratches from Grace.

13. Someone gets ahold of my debit card number and fraudulent charges begin appearing on account.

14. Fight with Regions. Rinse. repeat.

15. Grace is referred to an internal medicine vet.

16. Add 3 more scratches to the tally.

17. More fraudulent charges and fights with Regions.

18. cancel debit card.

19. Grace goes to specialist. She's examined and xrayed. Diagnosed with either what the vet calls "herpes" or "chlamydia." R and I are so tired (from worrying and not sleeping because we're constantly checking on Grace) we immediately become hysterical with laughter (after we found out it's easily treatable) and begin making inappropriate jokes about naughty uncles and such. Find out vet has no sense of humor.

20. R and I argue about who is going to google feline herpes and feline chlamydia at lunch.

It's been an eventful couple of weeks and a lot of this stuff is still up in the air. So things might stay sporadic around here for a while until things settle down. Or you know until I finally overcome that pesky need for sleep.

Zombies? Seriously?

Friday, January 30, 2009

This article cracked me up. But, not for the reasons you think. It's all about the "Guide to the Undead" that they so thoughtfully placed in a nifty little sidebar to the left. Links include

What is a Zombie?
Zombies in English Presentation
Zombie application on Facebook

and my personal favorite article title

Zombie Pin-Ups: Where beauty eats brains

They also included wonderful videos on such topics as How to Escape a Zombie and Bush finds a new threat in zombies.

I'm not sure if their little side bar was done in jest or if they were trying to truly educate the public on the topics of zombies. Either way I think it's hilarious that they have such an informative guide on such an out there topic.

And on the whole zombie note- How about this? Pride and Prejudice plus zombies?

Silliness just seems to be ensuing when it comes to zombies lately. I guess vampires have been taking up entirely way too much spotlight as of late. Zombies want their face time too, no?

Oops

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Driving into work this morning one of the morning radio shows were talking about misheard lyrics.

One that made me laugh was "Broken" by Seether. The lyrics say, "I wanna hold you high and steal your pain." The listener swore they said, "I wanna hold you high and steal your Pam." As in the cooking spray. And upon playing the song it really kinda sounds like Pam instead of pain.

Another one was "Beast of Burden" by the Rolling Stones. Instead of "I'll never be your beast of burden," they heard, "I'll never let your pizza burn."

There were a bunch of great ones but those two really made me laugh.

Now on to one of my embarrassing misheard lyrics. In Filter's "Hey Man, Nice Shot," I hear "That's why I say hey man nice shirt. What a good shirt man." The real lyrics are of course, "That's why I say hey man nice shot. What a good shot man."

Yes, I'm a moron and I freely admit it. And yet, I still sing the lyrics wrong each time.

Goodbye and new beginnings

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Goodbye to the end of an error


Hello to the future

I've honestly never been more proud to be an American than I am today.

Oh to dream!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Wonder who you have to blow to get this job?

http://www.islandreefjob.com/

I also wonder if they would be able to understand my Southern accent?

On that note I bet the decision committee would be charmed by it. I mean it wins me major points anytime I'm near any Yankees. And all the Canadians I met while in Canada were transfixed by me anytime I spoke. I bet Australians would love it!

I'm off to plan my video or ya know fuck off some more. Whichever takes the least amount of brain power.

Day 5 con't, Day 6, Day 7 & some general ramblings

Monday, January 12, 2009

The rest of the diet was much easier for the most part. Days 5 & 6 we got steak. Day 7 we got brown rice. However, I was unable to force myself to eat anymore soup after day 4. Every time I opened the fridge and saw it I gagged a little. The diet did accomplish a few things. It made me hate soup, it made my body change how it craved food and it solidified my beliefs that fad diets are stupid.

The diet promised that I would have more energy a few days in. That didn't happen at all. Honestly by Sunday I had no energy at all. I don't know if it's diet related but by midday Sunday I was basically a lump on the couch until I fell asleep watching television around 8:30.

I haven't weighed since Saturday so I don't know what the final count is. The last count I have was a total weight loss of 9 lbs. Which is nothing to sneer at but it isn't the 17 lbs promised by the diet.

Today marks the day of what I call better eating. I know what I need to eat and I know how much is healthy so that's my new eating style. I refuse to call it a diet because diet seems so restrictive. Also diet seems short termed while this won't be. My new eating style is how I should be eating permanently not just in the short term to reach a certain number.

And for my weird rant of the day. What the fuck is up with movies these days? I never watch them because they all tend to suck. Yesterday I had no energy whatsoever so I watched a couple of the movies I had recorded. Premonition? Sucked. If it weren't for the fact that I love Julian McMahon I would have turned it off just a bit into it. Jumper? Sucked. I watched it because I kept hoping it would get better but no such luck. I also recorded 1408 but I after watching Premonition I just didn't have it in me to watch it.

So it just me or do movies just suck ass lately? Are there any good movies out there? Am I just watching the wrong ones?

Day 5

Friday, January 09, 2009

Mid-day update

Breakfast:

Orange Juice
Cup of Bran (still nasty) with skim milk

Lunch:

Steamed broccoli
an apple

So far today things have been great. I went to lunch late (again) and I wasn't hungry at all.

Tonight we get to have up to 20 oz of beef. I'm not as excited about it today as I was last night. Obviously this diet has turned my brain into mush.

I guess we'll see if my tune changes once we get home and put those beautiful steaks on the grill. *Just to be mean I'm thinking about telling R that I think we should skip the steaks and become vegetarians.

I really can't help the meanness. It's in my genes and has been nurtured since birth. I don't think this soup has done much for my disposition either. But only 2 1/2 days to go! Hopefully the world can survive my heightened meanness for just a bit longer.

Day 4

Thursday, January 08, 2009

We're half way through! Thank you sweet baby Jesus.

Breakfast:

Orange Juice
Cup of Bran (nasty as hell even with Splenda) with skim milk

Lunch:

Steamed garlic seasoned cauliflower (tasted like ass)

Snacks:

Bananas (the diet called for at least 3 bananas today)

Dinner:

Soup (it's beginning to have no flavor at all for me or maybe my taste buds are dead)

Surprisingly I haven't really been hungry the last two days. My stomach growled on the way home from work but it was barely noticeable. As much as I hate this soup I am very impressed with the overall hunger control. It feels like this diet has kind of reset my system

Total weight lost end of Day 4: 10 lbs

Day 3

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Today's post is brought to you by the letter R as in R wrote this post as I have no time because I am so swamped at work I don't even have time to pee.

On with the show:

Sweet Jesus, when will this end? Day 3 of the diet you get to eat soup (kill me now), fruit and veggies. Wee! All the veggies you want for breakfast. Because nothing says, “Good morning, world!” like a big plate of steamed broccoli for breakfast. Also, nothing says, “I’ll be in here for another 10 minutes or so,” like a big plate of steamed broccoli for breakfast.

I skipped breakfast and had a nice glass of grape juice instead. Jen took a big bag of broccoli to steam for lunch and I *sob* took a bowl of soup. I didn’t have a choice really. You’ve smelled broccoli cooking? Yeah, I couldn’t do that to the office. And really the soup isn’t bad. I mean it would be better if it were Rally’s cheeseburgers and fries but that’s what got my ass into this position. Damn you Rally’s. Damn you and your beautiful fries!

She’s mentioned the odd cleansing properties of the soup? Yeah, my office loves me. Yet somehow in my burger deprived mind that seemed a better choice than the steamy sulfur smell of broccoli. I was okay most of the day till one girl came around with the freaking canister of M&M’s asking me if I wanted some. In a soup fueled frenzy it was all I could do not to beat her over the head with a stapler and steal them, running off into the field behind the office cackling madly. But I was strong and said no. I even waited till she left my office before I started crying.

Supper was a nice big bowl of soup. Oh joy! Oh bliss! Oh hell. ‘Eat soup’ is now a perfectly acceptable insult in our house. Example: “Snakes on a Plane is stupid. I can’t believe you like this.” “Eat soup.”

Jennifer again. As you can see this diet is making us slightly delusional. My total weight lost end of day 3 is 5.5lbs. Yeah up 1.5 lbs.

This is exactly what happened to our friend that turned us on to the diet. She gained weight on the 3rd day. She quit. A true friend would have warned us when it happened but nooooo. Doesn't matter now though; we're toughing this out until the end. 4 more days to go. *sob*

Day 2

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

It's lunch Day 2 and I have figured out this whole diet thing. It makes you hate food. Today all we can eat is the soup and just about any veggie we can think of. For dinner we can have a baked potato. But no fruit all day long.

This morning I swore I would vomit if I ate that soup for breakfast so I drank orange juice, coffee and green tea. Not mixed because you know that would be weird and while I do eat some weird combinations (black eyes peas & mayo), I'm not that disturbing.

I am now trying to eat soup for my lunch and I will say this- if after these 7 days if I never even SEE another bowl of soup again I will be very happy.

I will try to post again at the end of the day to say how the night went but I'm pretty sure I won't be eating soup for dinner. Currently I've been eating lunch now for 30 minutes and I've only managed to ingest about 1/4 of it.

And just as an aside, I don't generally try fad diets, I just wanted to use this one to kind of jump start our healthy eating as it was reported to be a great cleansing way to begin a healthier approach to eating. But, at this point I fucking hate food. So maybe that's the secret? Only time will tell if the laxative effect lasts into day 2. My ass hopes not.

Update 2:59 p.m.

The laxative effect also happens on day 2. Pretty much anytime you eat the soup it has a laxative effect. Dear God. R & I have pretty much agreed that we will not be eating the soup at work again.

Update 8:50 p.m.

Dinner was a baked potato and edamame. I also had some mushrooms which sounded really good in theory but really were a miss.

I am a little pissed at the animals. Ryley hates beans. Won't eat any form of them. I offered her the edamame being funny thinking she would turn her nose up at it as usual but noooooo. The fucking dog loves edamame. Taylor and Grace also love edamame. Grace kept swooping in on R and grabbing whole soybean pods. That part was a bit funny but no so much when it happened to me.

While eating dinner we started watching Snakes on a Plane. R loves hokey movies and I generally put up with them. We only watched part of the movie and I'm sure we'll finish it eventually; but I have to say I cannot believe Hollywood made this movie. I'm convinced whoever came up with the premise for this movie MUST have been high at the time. It's the only thing that makes sense.

And just to complete my rambling circle total weight loss at the end of day 2 is 7 pounds.

Day 1

Monday, January 05, 2009

So R & I started this 7 day diet/cleanse. I'm going to try to detail our progress here so maybe if I have to hold myself accountable to those pesky interwebs I will actually keep up with it and possibly post every single day. Ha. Right.

So day 1 was all the fruit and soup (their recipe) we can eat.

Breakfast was a glass of orange juice and an apple. I was starving by lunch but I didn't have time to eat anything so I drank mass quantities of apple juice.

Lunch was soup and a gazillion strawberries. I was so full at the end of lunch I thought I would pop.

By the time dinner rolled around I was starving again. Dinner was soup again. After two bowls of soup I hadn't weighed so I weighed just to get a number. Wow. Yeah diet full steam ahead. Not long after I finished the soup it showed exactly how it helps you lose weight. Apparently it's a fucking laxative. A joke that I swore I had lost ten pounds ended up being pretty close to the money in that I had lost 4 POUNDS IN 30 MINUTES. And I never want to eat again.

So that was day one. Wonder how day 2 will go?