A Meme

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Stolen from Maria because I have nothing else today....

Name one person who made you laugh last night.
Rhonda routinely makes me laugh. Like many, many times a day. She's the funniest person I know. And she's an idiot.

What were you doing at 8:00?
This morning? I was walking up the steps to the Courthouse.

What were you doing thirty minutes ago?
Just getting back from lunch so I was probably checking voice mail and such...

What happened to you in 2006?
I got my "dream job" only to realize that it was a fucking nightmare. I lasted 6 months. Unfortunately, my sanity gave out 2 months in.

What was the last thing that you said out loud?
I think I said goodbye to a client on the phone.

How many beverages did you have today?
3 cups of coffee and 1 Red Raspberry Diet Rite

What color is your hairbrush?
I think it's black. I also have a white one with zebra stripes but it's been in Rhonda's car for months

What was the last thing that you paid for?
A triple, venti, wet, non-fat Cappuccino

Where were you last night?
At home with Rhonda and the "kids"

What color is your front door?

Where do you keep your change?
I never have change. Seriously. I never have cash. On the rare occasion I do have change I keep it in my wallet.

What's the weather like today?
72 fucking degrees. I'm bitter.

What's the best ice cream flavor?
I'm an equal opportunity ice cream eater. There aren't many flavors I won't eat. I love coffee, black-walnut, strawberry, cherry with chocolate chunks...the list could go on forever. And despite wanting to hate it I really, really love Rhonda's family's recipe for peach-apricot ice cream.

What excites you?
Besides all the usual lovey-dovey stuff like spending time with Rhonda I would have to say the idea of a new house. I really, really want a new house.

Do you want to cut your hair?
Every single day. However, my hair is still pissed about all the horrible things I did to it when I was in my teens so it refuses to do anything but hang there and look like shit.

Are you over the age of 25?

Do you talk a lot?
It depends on the situation and who you ask. If you ask the people I work with and most general people they would say I rarely talk at all. If you asked Rhonda or someone who knows me very well, they would say I never shut up.

Do you watch The O.C?

Do you know anyone named Steven?
Yes, I know a few

Do you make up your own words?
Mostly I make up names to call the dog. Pupples, Punky-dog-dog, pupp-a-lup-a-gus. What can I say? I'm weird.

Are you a jealous person?
Yes. Although in my defense I have gotten so much better over the years. When I was younger I had such a jealous streak. I also dated losers back then. Maybe the two correlate in some way....

Name a friend whose name starts with the letter A.
Andrew. But, Rhonda and I call him Chuck. And strangely enough his given name is neither Andrew or Chuck or anything remotely similar.

Rhonda decided one day that if he could just call himself whatever he wanted that she would call him what she wanted; hence the name Chuck.

Name a friend whose name starts with the letter K.
Chuck's given name is Kevin-does that count?

Who is the first person on your received call list?
My boss. She was running late.

What does the last text message you received say?
Fuck this traffic!

Do you chew on your straw?
Yes. I especially like to do it when I am sharing a drink with Rhonda. It drives her batty.

Do you have curly hair?
This is a touchy topic. My hair will not hold a curl. They tried to give me a perm at least 6 times when i was young. Only 1 ever took. I can curl my hair but I never bother because it falls within 2 hours.

Where's the next place you are gonna go?
Home as far as I know.

Who's the rudest person in your life?
I refuse to answer this questions because I don't want to be dooced

What was the last thing you ate?
A blue raspberry Jolly Rancher

Will you get married in the future?
Only when the majority realize that making my 7+ year relationship legal in the eyes of the law will not undermine the sanctity of hetero marriage

What was the best movie you have seen in the past two weeks?
The only movie I can even remotely remember watching in the past two weeks is Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Which was on only for background noise. And because I <3 Angelina.

Is there anyone you like right now?
I agree with Maria. This totally sounds like a junior high question.

I do like Rhonda though. Even when she pisses me off.

When was the last time you did the dishes?
Last night. I emptied the dishwasher, reloaded the dishwasher, forgot to start the dishwasher and then filled the sink up with dishes. It's a never ending cycle.

Are you currently depressed?
Yes. I'm trying to put off going to the doctor to be medicated but I don't think I can hold out much longer.

Did you cry today?
Not yet.

Queen of Evil

Monday, October 29, 2007

So Rhonda & I have had conversations numerous times regarding the evil that lives inside me. See I'm evil. I admit it. I embrace it. What makes it especially fun is that no one suspects me of being evil. They look at me and see a sweet, innocent person. But, in reality I am an evil spawn.

See I don't DO evil. I'm kind of like that devil sitting on someone's shoulder tempting them to do wrong. I plant the seeds of evil acts in people's minds.

To give you an example I'm going to confess something here that will get me into a world of trouble. Once Rhonda reads this you will probably be able to hear the screaming miles away.

See, Rhonda doesn't like clowns much. She's not truly phobic of them but she really doesn't like them. So, I, being the truly evil person that I am, called up her arch nemesis, the co-worker she is in a constant battle with to see who can harass the other the most. I used my powers of evil to put a bug in her ear.

Me: "How funny would it be if you could get as many people as possible in your office to dress up as clowns?"

Her: "Holy shit! That's awesome! Rhonda will shit her pants!"

Me: evil laughter

So...ummm honey? I'm the reason those 3 clowns jumped out from behind your desk this morning. But, I want you to know that I had no part in the decorating of your office! She came up with that one all on her own. And in my defense I never figured she would be able to get 5 other people to dress up with her.

And you should have let me dress you up all girlie like I wanted. So really you have no one to blame but yourself.