Queen of Evil

Monday, October 29, 2007

So Rhonda & I have had conversations numerous times regarding the evil that lives inside me. See I'm evil. I admit it. I embrace it. What makes it especially fun is that no one suspects me of being evil. They look at me and see a sweet, innocent person. But, in reality I am an evil spawn.

See I don't DO evil. I'm kind of like that devil sitting on someone's shoulder tempting them to do wrong. I plant the seeds of evil acts in people's minds.

To give you an example I'm going to confess something here that will get me into a world of trouble. Once Rhonda reads this you will probably be able to hear the screaming miles away.

See, Rhonda doesn't like clowns much. She's not truly phobic of them but she really doesn't like them. So, I, being the truly evil person that I am, called up her arch nemesis, the co-worker she is in a constant battle with to see who can harass the other the most. I used my powers of evil to put a bug in her ear.

Me: "How funny would it be if you could get as many people as possible in your office to dress up as clowns?"

Her: "Holy shit! That's awesome! Rhonda will shit her pants!"

Me: evil laughter

So...ummm honey? I'm the reason those 3 clowns jumped out from behind your desk this morning. But, I want you to know that I had no part in the decorating of your office! She came up with that one all on her own. And in my defense I never figured she would be able to get 5 other people to dress up with her.

And you should have let me dress you up all girlie like I wanted. So really you have no one to blame but yourself.


Rhonda said...

Sweetling? You do understand this means war, right? Now if you'll excuse me I have to find a website devoted to teaching the dog to fetch grasshoppers. Surely there's one on the internets.

Jennifer said...

Ha! We both know she'll "love" any grasshopper to death before it ever gets to me!


Rhonda said...

Yes, Internets. You know the vast series of tubes Senator Stevens talked about? Internets- at least that's what the president calls them.